Description
This hoax appears to have been written as a joke, sending up the tone of other
virus hoaxes. However, some users are still concerned by the message and we
recommend you do not forward it to friends and colleagues.
Subject line of this email hoax virus:
Virus Alert
Text of this virus hoax reads as follows:
If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes," delete it immediately. Do not
open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase
everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks
within 20 feet of your computer.
It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms
your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace
field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will
re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings so all your ice cream
melts and your milk curdles. It will program your phone autodial to call
only your ex-spouses' number. This virus will mix antifreeze into your
fish tank. It will drink all your beer. It will leave dirty socks on the
coffee table when you are expecting company. Its radioactive emissions
will cause your bellybutton fuzz (be honest, you have some) to migrate
behind your ears. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair
with Rogaine, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your
back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card. It will cause
you to run with scissors and throw things in a way that is only fun until
someone loses an eye. It will give you Dutch Elm Disease and Psitticosis.
It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs to
passive tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings which grossly
change the interpretations of key sentences. It will leave the toilet seat
up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full
bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses
and pillows, but it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk. It
will replace all your luncheon meat with Spam. It will molecularly
rearrange your cologne or perfume, causing it to smell like dill pickles.
It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It
is also a rather interesting shade of mauve. These are just a few signs of
infection.
PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!! (everyone deserves a
good laugh)